Devotion 365 - passion

You wake up one morning and a zero finds its way to the end of your age and you wonder if this is the time or the day or the year you can start again.

If I were in Kindergarten, I would call it a “do over”.  It was not my intention to redo life or love or labor, rather looking. I wanted to redo or refine or reestablish how it is I look at life.

A decade brings some bit of significance;  and I didn’t want to miss it.We all wonder don’t we?  

We wonder if we are pursuing the passion we are supposed to?

It can come in tidal waves or slow agonizing drips.  It can come in a million questions or one slow and haunting question that keeps us up at night.

We wonder is there more?

One gigantically wonderful thing about adding zeros is you realize stuff doesn’t matter,  so the quest for more stuff is quickly put to bed.  No, this wondering is the kind that looks inside;  it digs and uncovers purpose and motivation.  It can be ugly;  but it continues its quest for beautiful.

Have I missed something?  Am I missing something?

 The kids pile in the house like so many cattle.  I wonder what all the fuss is about.  Each one has stacks of books from the library.  I wonder what the reason is.  They rattle off in breathless tones that they have begun working on a research paper.  I pinch myself at the thought that any project has brought this much joy.

The teacher had queried them to write questions to which they wanted answers;  and out of that exercise came passion and research paper topics.

I get that;  that pursuit of passion question.

I ask myself if I have missed Him;  has God called me to some purpose I have overlooked or worse underplayed.  Did I not hear Him when He asked?  Did I not see Him when He passed by?

The kids tell me their topics.  There are no game changers here.  One, yes, one might be writing about her future career;  the other perhaps his favorite past time.  They will discover facts and figures.  They read and note and write and report.  They are not changing the topic,  rather coming to understand it better.  This is the nature of learning and they are loving it.

I ask myself my topics.  What is it that changes me?  What do I adore in this life?  What do I want to learn more about?  If I have the floor, what is it I want to discuss?  What injustice do I want to see righted?  What goodness do I want to see spread?

Like my middle schoolers, I can only learn and in the learning I may discover some facts, but also I uncover much more about the Father.

I have grown to believe the falsehood that to accomplish His purposes, He needs me.  He doesn’t.

Better, He WANTS me.

I forget that.  I have been invited to the party of serving Him, but I get so caught up in what I am going to wear or serve or clean;  I forget the point.  He is ready and willing to do life with me.

I go about the business of the day seeking.  I look for the little small spaces where He is.  I see Him in the unexpected.  Two children whose passion has bubbled up to the surface and they are breathing the air of how they were created.  They do not look alike, they do not sound alike;  they have very few of the same tastes.  They share a mother, a father, a home and an upbringing.  That is where the similarities end.

Strange, when they are with friends, they hope to have similar games, similar clothes, similar tastes;  yet difference is the hallmark of our existence.  I remember at five years old crying for three days that I didn’t have a white button down shirt similar to that of my best friend. 

I have since added a handful of decades and realized difference is divine;  and it is where passion is born.

My experience, your experience,  that of people living in my house;  all different yet all with one singular purpose;  to attend the party;  to reflect the glory;  to tell those who have not heard the Story.

The places vary, the style, the language, the audience;  it is all wildly different;  yet to find joy, it must reveal Him;  we MUST reveal Him.

His children should not be chasing;  we should be walking with Him.  The party has no beginning, no end;  He breathes breath and for a time we get to find Him here, until we see Him there.

It is delight this; the seeking.  You, me, we have not missed it dear one.  If we are asking;  we are already there.  We just have to open our eyes a bit more;  widen our ears and listen.  He is in the very moment and He delights we are here at this time, at this place, for this moment to be a part of this glory.

“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”
― Frederick Buechner,

The Lord your God is with you, the mighty warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.

Zeph 3:17