off guard

Caught a little off guard by my prayer list today. Mine probably looks a whole lot like yours. Wants, needs, healings and hallelujahs. Today, some lovelies are grieving.  Some, celebrating. Some, waiting. This is God’s typical day. I wonder what runs through His Holy heart and I wonder exactly why I pray. In so doing, I don’t look to change His mind.

I hope to change mine. I hope that in talking with Him, I am listening too. I hope I am hearing that He is in control, that He already knows, that He has the answer to my hundred things and a trillion more. I hope I realize that His answers are the best answers and His reasons are the only ones that matter.

And that my understanding is not the key; it’s just an occasional gift on an occasional day. And if I wait, I am never disappointed. Only I have trouble with that one. I am a fixer and a list maker and a doer. Waiting is never ever on my list for exactly anything. Yet, it’s the waiting. That drawing up a chair, that looking for Him in all places. That is the stuff glory is made from.

It is the realization we are not in control, never were and that is a good good thing. It is the walking with and not in front or behind. It is the stealing away worry for wonder and opening to looking and listening beyond what can be seen or heard. I want to have the prayer that ponders, the faith that waits and the heart that is still.