Devotion 356 - Unwrapped

I tend to hang out in the kitchen when this all begins.

I watch as the boys muster up the boxes and as my husband does battle with the lights.

I busy myself putting away dishes and cleaning counters.

There is something about being an observer that gives me a sense of awe.

Soon, little hands and big hands alike are digging into boxes and unwrapping.  We unwrap ornaments and beads and ribbons, but more than that, we unwrap memories.

Memories we seem to forget for a year come to life again and I wonder how these stories will translate around four trees to come.  The trees that will belong to my children, the ornaments that will be passed down, the traditions that will be birthed in their hands and the ones they will adopt from us.

I wonder what Christmas will look like. 

I hold each ornament, I grab a tiny hook and I remember fondly the person who made it, or gifted it or the moment and time when the precious piece came into our home.

This Christmas tree is so much more than decoration;  it is in every way the story of our lives, the people we have loved, those that have loved us and the Jesus who breathed life into our certain death.

It is wondrous in every way.

I think fondly of my mom, her decorations, how the week leading up to Christmas seemed like a fairy tale of pretty things and sweet cookies.

My daughters now insist on hanging the beads and winding the ribbons around the tree.  I remember the day I began tying ribbons and hanging swags.  It was a rite of passage to go from guest to hostess. 

We moved the tree an entire five feet in our family room this year and I smiled to myself how each of my older children debated this decision, would it be as pretty, as nice, where exactly would the presents be on Christmas morning? They want to hold time still;   they get that from me.

I have mourned change almost in every aspect of my life, but I see my children aging and changing.  I see my husband and me rekindling romance with no babies to hold in our hands.  I see my children coming to know grandparents as friends and I recognize time as a gift instead of something to make. I remember things from last year; I had hoped would change and I see how the Lord met me in stillness and in change.

He pursues us in our weakness and fills gaps to make our ugly an incredibly holy beautiful. 

Memories of a life lived yes, but also stories told and lessons learned and another year of faithfulness by a Father I love more with every passing season.

You see in ways, I have begun unwrapping stories He has told me as well.  I remember as a child thinking of Moses as a great and powerful leader, one that through God’s power parted the Red Sea.  Yet I unwrap him just a little and see an aged man stammering and stuttering his way into leadership and realize my leadership is much the same.  Historically I have despised weakness, yet I find Jesus there.

I have unwrapped Mary.  She who seemed so contented could not have understood a virgin pregnancy or the task of raising a Savior, yet she gave her life to Him, one day at a time.  Never insisting on an understanding of tomorrow yet yielded to her today.  She “pondered (her thoughts) in her heart.”  How precious He unwraps His wisdom through our pondering.

David, Abraham, Sarai,  the list goes on and on.  None were perfect.  All were flawed and faulted, all weak in some way, all sinners.  All were met by God the great gap filler, all called to serve beyond their understanding or physical capacity and all shined the glory back onto God. 

I find myself unwrapping pieces of myself.   The pieces are those weaknesses I have despised or worse disguised.  I am uncovering them and slowly offering them to Him.

I am learning He doesn’t want well trained soldiers but surrendered hearts, unwrapped and exposed.  He completes, He refines and He breaks.

The gift, the goodness lies beneath.  It may be wrapped in pain, in suffering, in loneliness but the goodness lies within.

 It is worth the fear of going deeper of lifting the edges of self reliance and pride to reveal His presence. 

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. 

John 14:26