Clothesline Grace: Devotion 353

I was pretending I didn’t see him. We were in the snack shop. I had my bag of popcorn, the kids had their hotdogs. It was the first time this week I would have lunch with my family. Friday had snuck in without me seeing it coming. I had worked through all the other lunches. This one felt like it was all mine.

I saw the man in the corner watching us. I figured he was commenting in his mind on my kids so I decided to keep my glances all to myself.

I got them settled. They decided sitting with me and their daddy at a table was far too much like old people so they hopped over to the lunch bar with tall stools. My youngest daughter leapt to her seat as if she owned the world. I had them all settled and again saw the man in the corner of my eye.

I went and filled my soda cup. I passed by slow hoping to see what it was he was looking at. He had finished his lunch. I noticed he had a full shopping bag as well.

I walked by again. Unmistakably the word lonely whispered to my heart.

I remembered my prayer just that morning. Sometimes I struggle with bravery. Sometimes I am intimidated at the thought of giving Jesus absolutely every corner of my heart. This morning was one of those mornings.

Convinced I was hanging on to something, I asked instead to let the Lord show me where I could be a blessing.

He had turned now, the old man. I watched him watching my kids and he was smiling. Oh, they weren’t model children, they rarely are, but they were laughing and finding as much joy in an eight dollar lunch as I was.

He turned and looked at me. He jumped right in; I am not sure why I worried what our first words would be.

He told me my youngest was missing a tooth. Not exactly the introduction I thought in the quiet of my mind, you see it’s buried somewhere where her cleft palate hid it. I smiled and nodded and asked if he had children.

The story began of two adopted daughters and a son getting married in two weeks. It was nothing short of beautiful.

I was the one supposed to bless but was being blessed down to my socks. Somewhere in the midst he told me the groom had been a soldier, he told me how he had survived his tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. I just knew. “He is a believer?” I asked, and a proud daddy shook his head.

We talked about the Lord and he gave me his testimony. My twenty minute lunch felt suspended and slow. I bathed in his gentle words, hoping one day I would reflect like he was on a life well lived, children that had chosen well and memories that cause me to smile and laugh at other people’s children.

And I wondered as I said goodbye to my new friend, how it is my heavenly Father sees me, my choices, my fears, and my failures. How is it a gal that struggles to give Him everything He sees fit to send angels over popcorn and soda.

God doesn’t demand I understand. He hopes with me that I trust in His word, in His promises and in His truth. I tear up at the thought of the precious gift of a Father who laughs at His adopted children and puts up with their toddling ways, uneasy through life and trying to choose well.

I promise tomorrow I will do better; I will hold onto less and give Him more.

He cautions me; it was not the old man that was lonely but me.

Often, I try to walk without Him stealing moments when I don’t think He is looking to covet time. Time no one sees.

But He sees and He seizes.

He shows up in those moments. He reveals Himself not as judge but as compassion, encourager and friend. He whispers from the sidelines, “It is WORTH it. Press on. Press in. Surrender, I have got you.”

Oh Beloved that our minds would grasp the hunger of our souls.