Devotion 340 - tools

I like to know things.

I like to know about my day.

I like to know how things work.

I like to understand the why in most things.

There is a luxury of knowing.

Yet the word says the poor will be blessed.

Perhaps part of our poverty is the not knowing, the not understanding, and the inability to figure things out. 

Perhaps wealth is found in faith.

Perhaps riches are found in obedience.

Perhaps true comfort and peace are found in trust.

For some reason, this appointment bothered me even more than her surgery. 

We sat in the same building.  We were going to see the same doctor.  But this time, this little procedure compared to the big one that occurred three weeks ago, bothered me more.  My husband and I both sat and shifted in our chairs.  Three weeks ago we applauded that her surgery was over, and somehow now it felt we had cheated her that over did not really mean over… The first one we went in unknowing and our precious daughter was asleep.

This time she was wide awake.  We came in the office with Ava laughing and teasing.  The first doctor popped in, a student to our surgeon.  She took a quick look at Ava and decided that the fixture that was holding all the work in place could be removed.  She left as quickly as she came.  

Ava was now wise to the event.  She knew her doctor would soon be arriving and she hid behind the curtain.  She was not fearful, but full of the faith that accompanies her through life.  She is built for adventure; this one was just another adventure she would tell her siblings and her Jesus about.

Her doctor arrived.  Through it all, he has become her friend.  He laughed when he had to “find” his patient and sat her up on the table.  All was well until he asked her to lie down.

Ava’s countenance and confidence changed. 

I felt I needed to explain, but the doctor stopped me.  He held up his hands and said, “I have nothing in my hands, watch.”  He held her face and carefully examined what he was going to do.  He explained now to the two medical students that joined him that he would be quick and discreetly explained exactly how the next few minutes would transpire.

Ava quickly sat up and protested.

Again, the doctor said, “Watch my hands.”

Ava relaxed and laid down.  Slowly the instruments were brought over.  They were small and sharp.

He put one tool in one hand, one in the other.  In seconds, literally, the entire procedure was over.

I held my crying daughter and stood amazed at the skill of her physician.He disposed of the tools then he took her face in his hands and apologized.

“We had to do this,” he said, “and I’m sorry it hurt.”

My eyes welled at the power of those words.

In the hands of the Master, there are many tools.

Tools used for our greater good.  Painful, sharp, frightening tools, all held by his hands, all for our greater good.

I thought about the tools He uses on me and how often I misplace the ownership of the toolmaker.

I feel fear and blame the enemy.  But perhaps the Craftsman has allowed the fear to put me on my knees.

I feel anger, and scream at the enemy.  But perhaps the Author of Holy wants me to share my emotions with Him that together we may fight my battle.

I feel disappointment in myself and cry to sleep.  And the Maker of Dreams comes and shows me He never meant for me to carry the load or own the burden. I realize I despise pain of all types.  I despise seeing my husband ill or my children hurting.  I despise when my body fails me. 

But sometimes life hurts, hearts ache and we crave for whatever has injured us to end. 

But the end is not the story,
 being held throughout the pain is.

What we thought would destroy has strengthened and what we thought would ruin has built. And we feel God’s touch, perhaps on our face, more surely on our hearts and we feel a bit stronger again.  We remember it is He that sets our path and He that lights our way.

And we remember Holy means wholly loved, wholly sought after and wholly built by the Creator.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though

outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we

are being renewed day by day. For our light and

momentary troubles are achieving for us an

eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we

fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is

unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but

what is unseen is eternal.2 Corinthians 4: 16-18