I
am not sure where it started. I
am not sure if it was the answers or the questions. I
didn’t see it coming. We
were just going to interview at a new school.
Who
cries at that?
Evidently
we do. We are that family.
There
were four chairs. My husband sat in one,
then my youngest son, then my oldest daughter and then me.
When
they said interview, I thought that there would be a few questions about their
favorite subjects. I didn’t anticipate
the meatier questions, the ones that make a daughter tear up and a mama not
able to speak as she chokes back emotion.
My
daughter, my darling 10-year old girl was asked to describe me, her daddy and
we, asked to describe her.
I
am not sure where the tears started. But
for a moment, for a very brief and beautiful moment, we held our hankies and
wept. My husband joined us as well.
My
Lily is named after my Mom. I remember
the day my pastor came to the hospital.
We had been told mother had two to three weeks to live. The weight of that had not settled in when I
stood outside the door of her room with my pastor.
He told me something I have never
forgotten. He said, “You have been given
a great gift. Say everything you have
ever wanted to say and will ever want to say.”
And
I began speaking to her, her eulogy.
Twelve
years later, I sat in a Principal’s office describing both my daughter and
son. Strange this, summing up a life in
spots of five minutes. Why do we
hesitate, why is this hard? Why do we
wait until death to describe life?
Perhaps
we should stop writing eulogies and start living eulogies, perhaps we can
rewrite their names and call them eu-lightens or eu- encouragements or
eu-livings. Because really, when the
Beloved is gone, what is the point?
We
as believers are living to die. Our
reward is set, the prize is purchased, the end is recorded in the hands and
feet of Jesus.
But it is those people, the people like my husband, my pastor, my besties that carry me forward toward the goal.
I
want to tell them that, not when they are laying in a box, but when I can open
a box of chocolates and share in the sweetness of life.
I
think about those on my list, the ones for whom I can write a eulogy; the ones
that have brought life and love and light to my life.
Strange
how I can notice their smile, and not mention it. Strange how they share a hug and I forget to
thank them.
Strange how I am so vastly
rich for their friendship and yet they have never sent me a bill.
They
are Jesus to me, and I am quite sure I have never told them.
I
sat in the Principal’s office and realized one day I will be standing in front
of Jesus. He will ask and on my knees I
will praise Him.
I will also thank Him for all the journeymen that have walked this life with me. If it were not for them, I would have missed Him time and time again.
My
children have kept me humble and they have fished a love out of my heart I had
no idea swam in the ocean of my soul.
My
husband, he has shown me the compassion of Christ way more times than I could
have ever possibly deserved. Any, my
friends have widened a road I too narrowly see to bring me moonbeams and
sunrises of the spirit. I have sought
more because of them.
I
wiped my eyes as I left that principal’s office and my daughter hugged me
hard. I wondered when was the last time
she had hugged me like that. But then
when was the last time I described us, our love, our friendship and our life.
I
want to be a eu-lighter, not a eulogist.
I want to point to the bright of every relationship and perhaps in
seeing that light, in describing that radiance, I will see and hear a bit more
of Jesus.
It
is He that authors life, but we have the great privilege of highlighting the
sweet and gentle stories of love and friendship.
“Who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” 1 Cor. 1:4
.
No comments:
Post a Comment