Devotion 287, Timing

Timing   -   the saying goes that timing is everything, or perhaps almost everything.

Timing provided a week full with appointments and agendas for work and evenings beginning and ending with vacation bible school. 

I felt as if I inhaled Monday morning and did not exhale until Friday night.  By Tuesday it seemed my cup of extra had emptied.  Every evening, my little class and I began with supper.  I sat with my precious 4-year old children and one after the other spilled their lemonades.  I told the Lord as I refilled lemonade in hushed, frustrated tones that He would have to fill me and them. 

I looked into their little faces, five in all.  They were like little buds, so extraordinary and so beautiful.  They were seeking nourishment for their minds and spirits.  They were hungry for supper and hungry for fun.  I wanted VBS to be full of fun, the fun that is wrapped with the love of Jesus.  The fun that they would never forget as the Spirit would remind them.  He had for me so many years ago; He would for them.  I wanted their spirits to taste the sweetness and leave VBS wanting more of the Savior.

I took my little patch of buds outside every evening.  They would run as if their little legs did not know how to tire.  Their faces would shine like the sun at balls and bubbles.  I longed to be four again, not looking behind or before just being.  I had two little girls who were slow to speak and three little boys who literally never slowed down. 

They were all so different yet I saw love blossoming between them and love in me for them.  I prayed they would sense a greater love, a love for Jesus.  My arms, my mind was often weary but Jesus I knew was welcoming them in spite of me.

The big hill behind the church seemed their favorite destination.  I didn't see the attraction but I joined them there each evening.  My little red-headed boy was always the first up.  He glanced at me at the top and asked, “What is the deal with all the crosses?”  There are three stately crosses there.  My heart leaped;  my cup felt full enough to pour.  I quickly responded, “Do you know the story of Jesus and the cross, why He went and what He did?”  My crimson blossom smiled and decidedly said,  “Yes, He went to the cross because He was sick of all the people!”

I smiled knowing everyone who had ever taught a Sunday school class smiled with me.  “The people”, does Jesus get sick of them?

Was I “sick of the people?”  Had I looked at these little people as objects of effort instead of love?  My work issues that had authored my insomnia were people issues.  My anxiety, yes it was me not letting God be God.  If He was sick of people, perhaps I had gotten him there.

I had challenged Him as if He had forgotten to look at my calendar as if He had not forged enough minutes for my day.  He did not, was not, is not sick of people.  No, He not only created minutes for me, but moments.  He gave me moments to see His glory pour out over little boys and girls and see the amazement in their eyes as I read stories of miracles and mercy.

I challenged Him on the emptiness of my cup yet I saw now my cup had to be empty for Him to fill it with His grace.  I had grasped so tightly to my problems, yet as I had to run up the hill, my arms had to swing, my hands had to open.  I stood with the red-headed boy at the foot of that cross and laid my anxiety and my worry-ridden thoughts at the foot.  I felt the Father there too.

I looked at the red-headed boy.  Tonight we wouldn't run down the hill, no, tonight we would roll.  For just a moment, I was four and grace rolled over me, in me and through me.

I looked back, the crosses now behind me, the big hill as well.  The terrain was easier, my heart lighter, my cup fuller.

Timing, yes He knew, He would have to empty to fill.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.”  Isaiah 55:8