15

Walking into a high school classroom,  funny how all those old feelings rush back.  The same anxiety, the same wish to be someone different, something different.

I sat looking at 48 eyeballs and talked about leadership. 

I rarely get nervous, but for all the world, I felt I should be on their side, listening to a teacher, learning stuff I could drag into my adult life.

I wish I would have known then what I know now.

I wish I could tell my sophomore self that comparison kills joy.

I wish I could have believed that life would be okay, not because of talent or book knowledge but because of Jesus.

I wish I could have known that what my parents poured into me was the stuff I would one day pour into my children and I desperately wish I would have listened more. I wish I would have breathed encouragement into those around me instead of thinking about ethos and ego.

I wish I could reach back in time and ask people about their redemption instead of worrying about their acceptance.

A glance in the rearview mirror sharpens the view forward. I veer off the teacher’s agenda and speak of passion and purpose and journey and remind every person in that room that God has created them for His glory and I hope I remember my words.

I hope I remember them when I feel weak and tired and insufficient.  This is how HE made me;  it is a constant reminder that I need Him.

I start;  He finishes.  I hope;  He finds me.  I expect;  He fulfills. 

Oh my dear 15, let Him lead and remember following Him is nothing short of glory.